Sometimes, we go through such intense emotional pain and misery that we simply want to crawl
into a hole and be forgotten. Or to simply sleep and not wake up again so one can escape from the
emotional pain and distress. This is especially more pronounced when it appears like there is no
hope and the future is bleak, and things won’t ever get better. Thus, in such situations, suicidal
thoughts may begin to pop into our heads as a way out of the pain and misery. However, this is very
misleading and not factual. Because things do get better and several individuals who have
attempted suicide in the past, but thankfully, survived to tell their stories, are glad they failed as
they have gone on to rediscover happiness again.
The key issue we want to address today is how to deal with such thoughts when they become
persistently intrusive, and one is going through emotional pain. How can one cope with such suicidal
thoughts? What can you do? Who can you turn to for help in such circumstances?
It is also important to clarify some common misconceptions. Having suicidal thoughts is not a
reflection of weak faith in God or a character defect. It does not mean that you are crazy, or weak, or
flawed. It only means that you have more emotional pain than you can cope with right now. But with
the passage of time and good social and professional support, you can overcome your problems and
the emotional anguish and suicidal feelings will pass. No matter how much pain you are experiencing
right now, you are not alone.
Why Do I Feel Suicidal?
Many kinds of emotional pain can lead to thoughts of suicide. The reasons for this pain are unique to
each one of us, and the ability to cope with the pain differs from person to person. We are all
different. There are, however, some common causes that may lead us to experience suicidal
thoughts and feelings. The commonest of them all is depression – a medical diagnosis characterized
by overwhelming feelings of sadness, fatigue, and loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities.
Simple tasks like getting out of bed, taking one’s bath, picking up a phone call, etc become very
daunting tasks that seem like too much trouble. And the good thing is that depression is TREATABLE
with full recovery.
How Can I Help Myself When Having Suicidal Thoughts?
We have previously covered how to offer support to persons with suicidal thoughts. Today, we focus
on what you can do for yourself if suicidal thoughts are occurring to you.
- Please do not take any impulsive action: The intense emotional pain that you are
experiencing can distort your thinking, such that it becomes harder to see possible solutions
to problems— so give yourself some time to think for a while and delay sudden actions. - Get immediate help: Do not keep the suicidal feelings to yourself; find someone you trust
and share. If you are unable to think of solutions other than suicide, it is not that other
solutions do not exist, but rather that you are currently unable to see them. Mental health
professionals, friends, or loved ones can help you to see solutions that otherwise may not be
apparent to you. Please give them a chance to help. - Avoid drugs and alcohol as these tend to cloud your judgment and concentration
- Make your home safe by removing things that can potentially be used for self-harm.
- Learn coping strategies; with the help of a professional, you can learn coping strategies that
are tailored to suit you. - Be aware of all your triggers and look beyond the thoughts of suicide.
Remember:
Suicidal thoughts can occur to anyone. But you DON’T Have to act on them.
It does not end the suffering and pain. It simply transfers the emotional pain, grief, and
anguish to your loved ones – family, siblings, friends, and colleagues.
Suicidal attempts may leave you injured and, in more pain, and distress than you were
experiencing originally…. causing even more misery and regret.
And give it time. What if things change for the better tomorrow, next week, or next month?
No matter what your situation is, there are people who need you, places where you can make a
difference, and experiences that can remind you that life is worth living. It takes real courage to face
death and step back from the brink. You can use that courage to learn coping skills for overcoming
depression, and for finding the strength to keep going.
For professional psychological first aid in Nigeria, you can reach out to any of these numbers:
Suicide Research and Prevention Initiative (SURPIN). Hotlines: 09080217555, 09034400009,
08111909909 and 07013811143.
Asido Foundation Helpline: 09028080416.
Lagos suicide hotlines, by the Lagos State Government. Hotlines: 08058820777 and
09030000741.
Dr Jibril Abdulmalik
Tribune Article for the column “Your Mental Health & You”
Thursday, 6th July 2023
Asido Foundation
www.asidofoundation.com
Asivuri Consulting
www.asivuri.com
