Case A: Afolabi is the 3rd of 5 children and the parents are successful entrepreneurs with a chain of
businesses. Once the children graduated from the university, they were all integrated into the family
business to varying degrees of success. Afolabi clearly had a good head for the business, he interacted
well with the staff and gradually took over the reins of the leadership – despite not being the oldest.
Luckily the other siblings didn’t begrudge him as it was obvious that he was best suited to taking things
to the next level. When the parents retired, he was appointed CEO. Did he inherit his leadership and
business traits or learn them?
Case B: Chizoba had to struggle to pay his way through school as he was orphaned early and his Uncle
who took over their responsibility did not see the value of continuing education when he could do well
by joining him in business. He was determined to graduate from the university and study economics.
Despite his challenges, he graduated with a first-class degree and won a scholarship for a masters
abroad. He subsequently joined a top financial institution and rose rapidly through the ranks to become
a director. The uncle and the rest of the family are now very proud of him. Where did he get the
ingredients and drive for success from?
Case C: Amina attempted to gain admission into the university via JAMB thrice but didn’t manage to
score high enough to meet the cut-off for her chosen course of study. She was initially despondent, but
she decided to pursue her hobby of cooking various Nigerian delicacies and provide home service
deliveries as well as open a restaurant. She was determined to make a success of it, and she worked
hard, as an apprentice at a large restaurant where she quietly learned the ropes. She further honed her
culinary skills by attending a catering masterclass. By the time she launched her business after 2 years,
she was ready, and it flourished.
Discussion
The essential ingredients for success is clearly a mixture of two major categories: nature and nurture.
Nature: Clearly, nature plays a critical role in shaping us for future success via factors such as
temperament, intelligence, personality, physical appearance, etc. Factors such as intelligence are in-built
and outside our control, just like our physical appearance. Other traits that may also be innate, include
the ability to display patience and delayed gratification in the face of setbacks and delays.
The Marshmallow test appears to support the nature model, as the test was invented to determine at
what age different children develop patience and delayed gratification. Long term follow-up studies of
those children strongly suggested that children who displayed patience and delayed gratification at an
early age were more likely to be successful in various domains of life in adulthood.
Nurture: Better understanding of the workings of the brain, and especially the concept of neuroplasticity
pushes the role of nurture in promoting successful living. Neuroplasticity explains that the brain is
flexible and like ‘plastic’, implying that it can be trained to learn and unlearn different traits or habits
that may promote success in life – as an individual, in family life or in professional careers. This trait is
also a fundamental basis of therapy for individuals to overcome habits such as poor anger management,
impulsiveness, procrastination etc.
Ultimately, a combination of nature and nurture ingredients are essential for successful living.
Behaviours that promote successful careers and interpersonal relationships can be learned or acquired.
Regular practice and persistence over time makes them become established as our habits that propel us
towards achieving success. Habits such as hard work, discipline, patience, delayed gratification,
emotional intelligence, self-control, good interpersonal and social skills, etc are traits that can be
learned and strengthened consciously.
Other skills that are also helpful include the ability to find inner drive and motivation to push yourself,
even when others appear to be lazing around and getting by, despite their poor work ethics. The ability
to also sustain attention and concentration, ie have laser focus on tasks and minimize distractions is a
very useful skill for success. And this can also be acquired or learned with training.
Conversely, growing up in an environment where negative traits are highlighted, with a lot of harsh
critical comments, denigrating comments and behaviour etc can fuel self-doubts, low self-esteem, fear
of failure and serve as barriers to successful living in later adulthood.
Conclusion: We can all aspire for success and achieve it, regardless of our inherited traits (nature). We
can acquire relevant skills avia training, discipline and hardwork (nurture) that will help us achieve
outstanding success in all spheres of life. Emotional wellness is a critical component of nurturing
success.
Dr Jibril Abdulmalik
Tribune Article for the column “Your Mental Health & You”
Thursday, 11th April 2024
Asido Foundation
www.asidofoundation.com
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