Halima completed her university education this year but narrowly missed mobilization for the national youth service corps (NYSC) program, due to late collation and submission of names from her university. Thus, she has to wait till the new year, hopefully in the first quarter, for eventual mobilization. She has been very upset with this situation and the thought of having to sit at home for months got her really riled up. She was irritable and cranky towards everyone at home and preferred to simply stay by herself in her room all day – largely feeling miserable and sorry for herself. Afterall, she had planned to complete NYSC in 2024 so that by 2025, she could travel abroad for a Masters and hopefully meet prince charming during the process. Now her carefully made plans were in disarray and she could not help but be furious with the university system and their failings. She had spent nearly 6 years completing a 4-year course – no thanks to lengthy ASUU/NASU strikes, COVID-19 school closure etc. Life was unfair and the year was ending miserably and badly for her….she concluded.
On the other hand, Halima’s Mum was slightly irritated with her foul mood and behaviour around the house, even though she understood her frustrations. She was happy that Halima had finally completed her university education, graduating with a first-class degree, the first person to achieve that feat in the department after 15 years. She was very proud of Halima and was grateful that she had set a good example for her younger siblings to emulate with her academic excellence and distinction. Halima is also very responsible, had not dabbled into drug abuse and was respectful and nice to everyone. As parents, they were planning to ensure that Halima’s dream of a master’s degree abroad would materialize and they would financially support her dreams…. even though they had not told her yet. So, overall, she is very thankful that 2023 had ended very well for Halima, as outstanding students sometimes get low scores on their final thesis which causes them to drop from first class standing to a second class upper. That Halima managed the feat and is being celebrated by her entire department was something to be thankful for indeed.
Discussion
The common tendency is to end the year with a litany of concerns about all the unfinished businesses, unsatisfied hopes and aspirations or missed opportunities that went by in the outgoing year. Very seldom do we pause to also count our blessings and successes in the outgoing year, and to show gratitude for them. Thus, we reflect on what could have been, and rue missed opportunities and we agonize about what we could have done differently.
Of course, it is a no-brainer that if you focus exclusively on the negatives and where things didn’t work out as you had hoped, you will be miserable and unhappy. This is clearly demonstrated by Halima, whose disappointment and frustration with having to sit at home for a couple of months before she can go for NYSC made her really upset, irritable and miserable. Yet, from her mother’s perspective, Halima had a very successful year, graduating with a first-class degree in her department – an achievement that had not been secured by any student over the past one and a half decades.
We all sometimes have to take a step back, take a deep breath, and put things in the right perspective as we evaluate our lives, or simply the outgoing year and list all our positives as well as the negatives so we can have a balanced view of our successes as well as areas where we didn’t quite succeed as we would have wanted.
Asido Foundation’s Gratitude Challenge
It is in the context of the foregoing that the Asido Foundation’s Gratitude Challenge asidogratitudechallenge2023 is a very welcome development that is aimed at nudging us to acknowledge and list our successes and things we are grateful for in the outgoing year. Emotional wellness is directly linked to a sense of gratitude and appreciation for the positives in our lives. This is achieved by the release of feel-good chemicals that promote a sense of emotional wellbeing and contentment, as well as enhancing optimism for the future. We encourage everyone to participate in this challenge, by reflecting on, and posting a list of 5 – 10 things that we are grateful for in the outgoing year. Please post on social media, use the hashtag #asidogratitudechallenge2023 and encourage others to also do likewise, between the 26th December and the 31st December. Together, let’s make the world a better place….one person at a time. So, let’s end the year on a thankful note with the Asido Gratitude Challenge.
Dr Jibril Abdulmalik
Tribune Article for the column “Your Mental Health & You”
Thursday, 28th December 2023
Asido Foundation
www.asidofoundation.com
Asivuri Consulting
www.asivuri.com
